As Welcome As Bedbugs!

Ahh, New York, bedbug capital of America! The Yankees couldn't do it, the Rangers couldn't, forget the Knicks and Mets because they couldn't either. No, the bedbugs are the world champs from New York! I was watching the news at noon today and even Bloomingdale's has the tiny creatures that stay in bed all day, crunch, crunch, crunch! Did they get there from someone(I guess a lot of someones) being lacks in their hygiene? I'm sure the answer is yes to a number of instances but not all. Case in point, Joe lies down on his bed before going to the movies, he meets his date and they sit through the movie(he has his arm around her, how cute), and she then goes to the store with him to try some mattresses because he needs a new one. Here's what has happened. Barnie the bedbug and his family jump on Joe when he lays down, some of the family moves to his date in the theater, and the rest move to Bloomingdale's when he's trying out some mattresses. Multiply this by a factor of 1000 and you might be kind of close for a day's activity. It's like fighting pesky blackheads as a teen. Bedbugs on bed, blackheads on nose, warts on fingers, more bedbugs in furniture. How do you rid yourself of the title for bedbug capital? Good question, not sure of the answer. I think I'd like to buy a vowel at this point!